I always attempt to be positive, but…
Sometimes, all of life’s unexpected curveballs lead to Muddled Brain Syndrome. Today, I am suffering from it. It doesn’t even take a Major League Baseball pitcher kinda curveball. It could be an unintentional pitch in “coach pitch” little league which can throw your brain patterns into a frenzy.
I spoke on the phone today. (That should have been my first clue it was coming. Speaking on the phone often resembles pulling teeth to my introverted self.) The very nice gentleman (in charge of Deed Restrictions) told me he had received phone calls about my property in the middle of a conversation about a completely different topic. That’s it. That’s all it took. After I hung up and processed our conversation, my day was ruined.
He did not specify that they were BAD phone calls. It could have been phone calls getting approval to build my house – which would mean GOOD phone calls. But, no – my brain has spiraled out of control over those two, little words… Phone. Calls (that word being plural – meaning more than one call – probably meaning someone complaining). My “rule follower” mentality broke.
So, now, I’m pretty sure my future neighbors hate us already. The Deed Restrictions people hate us already (although we haven’t done anything wrong). I’m fat. I’m broke. I’m sick of living in a small space. Why do I think I can help anyone else when I can’t even help myself. I’m not good at anything. Ugh!
And, even though I know none of this is in the least bit logical, I still feel overwhelmed and out of control. Stupid anxiety.
This, too, shall pass, right?