Day 40: The Struggling Dichotomy

THIS! This is how I feel almost every single day – a struggling dichotomy. One minute I feel like a beautiful princess… the next, an ugly witch- frightened of my own reflection. Most of the time, I am living a good life of the princess – my inner peace exuding through every pore. I make choices that lead me toward my goals. I am “being the change” I want to see in the world, and I am happy and content.

Then, with little warning, this visibly wounded victim surfaces. The witch is a hypocrite. She finds excuses for all the things she can’t do – laying blame anywhere but on herself. She is angry, and she is destructive. The witch will judge others to lift herself up, and she will sabotage any plans laid by the princess. And, she will hang on to the control of the body as long as she can.

One step forward, two steps back…

The truth is, the princess is used to losing the battle. The witch has been in control most of their lives. The princess is even the one that created the witch many, many years ago as a defense mechanism during the dark ages of the kingdom. She relied on her so much for a while, that the witch gained power and control. Eventually, the princess wasn’t around much. I don’t think she even knew she existed any more.

But, one day, the princess awoke from a long, long sleep. She realized what a mess the witch had made… in fact, she almost destroyed the entire kingdom with her destructive ways. The princess took back control, and locked the witch away where she couldn’t harm anyone else.

But, eventually, life started throwing punches, and the newly awoken princess still didn’t have the skills to duck and dodge. So, she would let the witch out to punch back then tuck her away back in her cell. Although it worked for a little while, the witch began gaining control again- manipulating the princess with her malicious whispers of untruths.

The princess worked very hard to learn the skills she needed to handle conflict so that she could once and for all be rid of the witch’s control. She tried throwing water on her, but it turns out her witch can swim.

Most days now, the princess doesn’t hear from the witch as much. But, when the princess is exhausted or faced with a difficult situation, the witch busts out of her chains and ensues with destruction. Except, now all of the witch’s hate is aimed at the princess herself. Her sabotage turned inward. Because, if the witch can’t be in control, she will do her best to destroy them both.

The princess knows she is winning this war but not always the battles. It would be so much easier if she could just send the witch away – never to return (maybe to the land of flying monkeys so the witch could have some friends). But, the witch is a part of her – so, she must find a place for her in the kingdom. The witch too can be a contributing member of the kingdom in the right job setting… she just doesn’t get to sit on the throne anymore.

Journey #190 – Goal Setting

Day 12

I’ve been listening to several motivational podcasts to keep my momentum in the right direction. By no coincidence, I’m sure, many are talking about my plan for myself in 2018… not a resolution, a goal. What do I want to accomplish by this time next year, and what is my plan to achieve it?It is funny to me that I have never done this before… I mean, why not? I set goals every year at work. In my personal life, I set trendy resolutions that I may or may not do. I know people tend to achieve what they focus on… what they write down and commit to doing. It just never occurred to me to do it with personal goals.So, 2018 has already begun, but here it goes anyway…


(You’re supposed to speak about it as if it has already happened…)

1. I am thin. I am healthy. I am maintaining the weight loss that I accomplished earlier this year. I feel better than I have in years. I am grateful for this year of focusing on my weight and habits. So many doors will open for me this next year because of the mental changes I have made this year.

2. How did I achieve this weight loss and maintenance?

3. I became a #PNPgroupie (“Losing 100 Lbs with Phit-n-Phat” Podcast).

4. I found other motivational podcasts that helped develop my new mindset.

5. I started small… and celebrated my successes.

6. I learned to journal and write down all of my food (and more importantly, notes about when and why I was eating).

7. I learned to stop counting calories and start eating only when I was hungry.

8. I made better food choices and planned my meals and treats each week.

9. I food prepped like a crazy woman to maintain sanity during our hectic week schedule!

10. I drank my water every day. It became my “Go To” drink instead of soda.

11. I found a workout routine that I fit into my schedule that wasn’t overwhelming but was effective.

12. I set a daily alarm for bedtime each week day. Because, if I didn’t go to bed on time, I had a hard time getting up and working out.

13. I didn’t beat myself up or quit when I screwed up. I simply journaled about it to release any feelings of guilt, etc. I promised myself this was my year to succeed and reminded myself often.

14. I chose to establish lifelong habits this time instead of dieting. It may have taken me longer to lose it, but it is how I’ve maintained this rockin’ body!


So, there it is folks… there is my commitment (and my challenge) for this new year. Now, it is time to make it happen.

I’ve got this!

Office Supply Obsession

I was reading blogs the other day on Teacher Organization, and I had an epiphany. I was on TeachingLittleLeaders blog, and she was having a giveaway of one of the products she offers on Teachers Pay Teachers. It was a tool to organize your goals for selling items on Teachers Pay Teachers and blogging about it.

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Now, understand that I have never even been on that website before (except once or twice when I accidentally ended up there while searching through Pinterest). But, I want this organizer SO BAD; I can hardly stand it! I can imagine myself writing on these pages in different colored pens – tracking my goals to blog about and sell on TPT.  Even better, since you download the pages, I would need to purchase a new hole punch so I could bind the pages together like the one shown in the photo.  That's when it hit me.

I am obsessed with [cute] organization and office [teacher] supplies. I have no intention of creating items to sell on TPT.  But, I would love to own this goal organizer and all that I would need to purchase to make it look exactly like the picture. Did I mention I love the fonts and the cute little arrows, too? I need this.  I want this. It's calling my name.

I love office supplies.  I love organization.  This goal organizer appeals to my every desire. It may be a problem for me.  But, hey, if that's my worst problem, I'm doing just fine. Maybe I should set a goal not to obsess over office supplies?… Nah.

BTW, if you are in need of an organizer for blogging about and selling on TPT, I highly recommend you check out TeachingLittleLeaders.

 

Goals: Getting Started

Setting goals in my mind is equivalent to making a New Year’s Resolution.  I come up with an idea, make it happen for a little while, then eventually, fade off.

It’s not that I don’t take my goals seriously.  I am just a very busy person with lots of interests – like many of you. I need a plan to see some of my fabulously brilliant ideas actually come into fruition.

Why not just jot some notes down on my iPhone and save you from my trials and errors? Because, this is how we learn.  Together and by making mistakes.

step oneTo get started, here are my non-negotiables I need to make this work.

1. I have to make the goal concrete by writing it down.

2. I have to revisit the goal regularly to make sure I’m on point.

3. The goal has to be something with an end in mind so that I can put that proverbial check mark next to it when I’ve accomplished my goal

Please, let me know any suggestions you have for me in the comments. I can always use your help!


Goal #1

Replace negative thoughts with positive ideas. Every time I catch myself being negative, I will come up with something positive about the subject instead.