Every day, there is some new challenge… some knew struggle in my brain between the self-destructive thought processes that have been a part of me for so long and the new, “this is who I am supposed to be” thoughts that I am trying to nurture and grow.
No wonder so many people struggle with weight loss. This daily battle in my brain is exhausting. One minute, I think I have the upper hand and am making all the right decisions. The next minute, I have shoved 3 (not 1, but 3) tasty treats in my mouth and felt like crap afterwards.
Want to know why I did it? I had been food prepping for the week (my first time… the smells in the kitchen were fantastic, but I had plenty of self control and did not snack during the process). My daughter decided she would make some sausage balls – a recipe passed down from my mom. I have been eating them my entire life. I watched her make them with a little pride that the tradition of making them continues in the next generation, the oven smelled so wonderful as they baked, blah, blah, blah. I ate them for the EMOTIONAL attachment I have for this food – all the wonderful memories associated with it. Honestly, they weren’t even that tasty. But, I still ate 3 (at least I didn’t eat 30 – small win).
But, tomorrow is a new day. I will try again… and keep trying until I have figured out all of my triggers and deal with them.
3 positive things about today:
I attempted food prep.
I enjoyed sharing the kitchen with my daughter.
I learned what my trigger was this time and can avoid such a mental trap in the future.